Intervention
by Carriedreamer
Summary: post Phantom Hourglass Captain Linbeck, among others, is startled to learn that his old buddy Link is on the way to becoming an alcoholic, and determined to save him, the old sea captain stages an intervention... but what if it isn't what it looks like?


Well I know this isn't a new chapter for either of my multi- fics, but you know the drill, a little plot bunny comes inot my head and takes over. Hope this isn't too bad, random yes... bad I hope not. ^__^;

**Disclaimer- I don't own the Legend of Zelda. Also on another note, I am in no way making fun of alcohholism or anything like that, it's a truly serious issue which must always be taken seriously and those fighting it should be supported not reviled. **

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The moments ticked on, the girl and boy one side, the older man, the younger girl on another, and in each corner two half bird half human hybrids known as Rito. They all sat, the teenage all human boy stared straight ahead, the girl next to him had her head in hands, wearied and tired. Also still in a nightgown, she'd been abducted earlier that evening.

The man and the Rito glared at the boy. Evil vengeful glares, the little girl looking at him with sadness even disappointment in her green eyes.

The same green eyes stared back at her, looking thoroughly embarrassed, and frankly humiliated being only in a pair of boxers and a black sleeveless top. He'd found himself cornered and dragged into the ship's galley in the darkness, his first thought had been of an intruder, and he'd instinctively launched a kick from between his legs and landed an elbow under a jaw, before he'd found himself subdued and placed on the chair.

Two of his so called "friends" now being in severe pain, but nonetheless revealed to be his abductors.

They'd glared at him, in absolute fury, and declared that though they hadn't wanted to do this, they 'd had no choice but to stage this… "intervention."

To his own horror his girlfriend of of a year and a half had suddenly been produced and thrust into a chair next to him by a young girl and yet another Rito this time being female.

Both were equally bewildered, over this sudden turn of events and thus both after getting over their shock were equally outraged!

" Be quiet you two this is for your own good!"

They clammed up at the normally laid back older man's curt words.

" You two…. Should be ashamed of yourselves!" he began, coldly furious " You've got your whole lives ahead of you… and look at ya! You're already going the wrong way!" They both blinked, the girl rose up a finger ready to object but it was slapped down by the indignant rito woman.

" Don't even try to deny it! We've got you in all ways, we have proof, your… provider was more than willing to cooperate with us when we got through with him."

They blinked again, this time the boy was able to get half of a word out before he was interrupted yet again. The little girl murmured sadly,

" Big brother how could you? What will Grammy think?" The two paled at that statement, the rito smirked satisfied they'd finally gotten through to them. The boy rubbed his head,

" Look… guys… I don't know what you've heard-."

" Oh be Quiet boy, you can't deny it!" The older man grabbed hold of the scruff of the boy's shirt and shook him, " You have any idea what that stuff does to you boy! Do ya do ya!"

" What…." He began thoroughly dizzy by his older friend's "Stu…Stu…. Stuff?" She was thoroughly jolted. He put the boy down in disgust.

" Good lord boy!" " You really that dense!?"

He was thoroughly jolted and dizzy, his girlfriend was still half asleep on the table, the Rito boy snapped his fingers to wake her up.

" You're as much to blame as him Miss!"

She mumbled something incoherent and stood up from the table, they tried to grab her back, but she stepped on the Rito's talons, their most sensitive area and went only to the Galley cupboard and took out a mug. Realizing they were not going to get through to the girl at this point, the group decided they could still lead the boy to his salvation and turned from her back to the still scowling boy.

" Listen chimp-."

" Don't call him chimp." The teenage girl suddenly snapped, though sleepily, she sipped a steaming cup of something tinted with… the group snarled.

" SEE THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" " BOY YOU KNOW WHAT THIS STUFF DOES TO YOU!" " CHU CHU JELLY IS THE WORST TYPE OF LIQUOR THERE IS!"

The girl jumped at the words and locked eyes with her boyfriend, sudden understanding dawning in their eyes.

" Oh for Din's sake…" They both mumbled.

The rito girl continued, " The Chu Jelly man over at Windfall says you-!" She pointed at the teenage boy. " Link, have bought at least ten cases of the stuff this month alone! That's enough for at least… who knows how many a week!"

The girl put her head in her hands. The Rito girl caught this, " What's wrong Tetra, ashamed you've turned the Hero of the Winds into an alcoholic with your pirate influence!" The girl's dark blue eyes narrowed, but she said nothing.

The older man continued, " Link, buddy. I know it seems like a lot of fun, believe me I've been there, Chu Jelly, sure it seems like the greatest thing in the world, with it's aroma… and….flavor… and… texture and…" He shook his head frantically trying to snap himself out of his trance, "B- but frankly it really can mess you up and you and Tetra are too good for-." His eyes narrowed, Tetra was still drinking her chu jelly concoction calmly, clearly not listening to a thing he was saying.

" Linebeck." Link murmured. " I know you mean well but if we could just explain-."

Linebeck was still glaring at the girl, taunting him, not listening to his well meant words, still taunting him with the perfume of her chu jelly concotion, he hadn't had it in so long…

Intervention time!

He whipped it from her hands, " I'll be taking that Miss Tetra, as the adult here It is my duty to dispose of this threat to your future." The girl said nothing, she just watched him, almost in anticipation it seemed, Link also seemed to be a smothering laughter. Linebeck shrugged it off and took one long swig of the stuff.

And regretted it severely.

He almost felt himself turn green, as he spat out as much as he could of the concoction, both Rito and Link's younger sister holding up their napkins daintily trying to cover their faces, as both Link and Tetra lost it and collapsed into laughter, Tetra pounding the table with her fist. Linebeck regained his composture and coughed.

" What the hell!" " What is this stuff!?" he noticed at the bottom there seemed to be some type of herbs or something at the bottom of the mug. Link's laughter stopped dead and Tetra soon after as Linebeck removed the piece of herb from the cup and sniffed it.

" What the hell?" "Ignacia herb?" He sniffed it again. " Hey wait a second… Jolene… she used to put this stuff in her coffee every morn-…." " And she used to flavor it with chu-…." He closed his eyes feeling a vein pop and stood up. " BOY!" Link gulped and didn't have a chance to escape as Linebeck grabbed hold of his ear and dragged him out of the room. " I TAUGHT YOU BETTER THAN THAT YOU DUMB ASS!" " YOU KNOW HOW UNRELIABLE THAT STUFF IS BOY YOU'RE ONLY SIXTEEN!" " I OUGHTTA-!" The door shut muffling out any reply the boy may have had. The remainder of the group sat in stone silence, all with their eyes glued on Tetra, who sat there with as much dignity as she could muster.

" So… you and big brother aren't alcoholics?"

Tetra shook her head, dying inside of embarrassment. Aryll cocked her head to the side,

" So then why was big brother buying all that stuff?" Tetra made a strange croak in her throat but said nothing. " And what's igncaia herb?" " Some sort of medicine?"

Tetra made the strange croaking sound in her throat again and that was all the twelve year old got for an answer.

Komali snickered. " you could say that little Aryll." His smile was sadistic.

Medli made a warning sound, " Komali...." She warned.

Aryll cocked her head, " But what's so wrong with taking-."

" YOU AND THAT GIRL OF YOURS ARE TOO YOUNG TO BE TAKING BIRTH CONTROL!" Linebeck's bellows echoed through the suddenly still room.

Three heads swerved to meet the pirate girl's whose head promptly slammed on the table absolutely dying of embarassment.

" Never mind..." Aryll murmured.

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I'm sorry, stupid i know, but I hope it was at least remotely funny. Well leave a review if you wish, and I promise a new chapter for Destiny comes in the stranges tof packages is on it's way. Winds of Fate too ( though no one apparently reads taht... but oh well it's my baby and I'll finish god darn it. ^__^) Well sayonara, thanks for reading!


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